I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
