Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
