So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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