eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
