Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
