ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
