im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
