where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize