You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
