I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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