I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just fell off a train. Bad.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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