So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
