there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
