So gin and wine won't be happening again
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
