when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
