My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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