i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
