I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
