Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
