Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
