So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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