walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
