when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
