Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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