this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
