So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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