your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
