Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
