We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
