Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
