you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just had sex on a roof
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize