not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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