i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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