didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
