The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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