The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize