Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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