Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
