K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
