So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I will die if light touches me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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