haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
