I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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