508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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