My Higher Power is John Stamos
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
