and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
