dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
