He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
