I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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