Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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