Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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