Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
