Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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