Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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