he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you never un-have a 4some
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
