We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
