My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
