Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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