This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
