D3 body, D1 cock
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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