she was so not down for the gang bang
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My underwear smells like fireworks.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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