Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
