but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
