I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize