I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
