Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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