Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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