don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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