Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
