i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
