I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize