haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
