I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
