Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
