Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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