i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
