I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i think my tv is drunk
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
