Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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