My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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