I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your penis caused this!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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