Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
