we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize