dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
