I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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