So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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