marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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