as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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