Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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