I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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