i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
