im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
