This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
