your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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