I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
