return my video game
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
