I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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